One priest meets a rabbi and they discuss.
The priest says "Hey do you know that when I go to a restaurant, I can eat all I want, and I never pay ?
"How do you do that ? invitations ?
"Nah. I have found one hell of a smart trick. Listen, when they show me the bill, I say "I already paid". Of course the waiter says "No, you didn't. Here is the bill."
And they I say, seemingly offuscated and outraged "Do you really think a priest like me, an ambassador of God on Earth, would lie ? really ?"
And I swear, each time they get embarrassed and say "Oh sure, excuse us you must be right". And I don't pay. Try it !
The rabbi is fascinated and evidently decides to try it. Next day he goes to a restaurant and eats, eats the finest and most expensive dishes.
Evidently come the waiter with the bill.
"My son, I already paid."
"No you didn't. Here is the bill."
"Wait, what ? You think me, a rabbi, a devout and honourable ambassador of Yahve on this planet, could lie ? Really ? Are you calling me dishonest ?"
The waiter turns red in confusion.
"Oh wait, excuse us, of course you are right. Sorry." He goes away with the bill.
And yet the rabbi don't go away; he just waits. Half an hour later the waiter come back and asks
"Something wrong, may I help you ?
"Sure" the rabbi answers. "Where is my money ? "
...
One jewish grandmother has taken her many grandsons and great grandsons to the beach. And then one freak wave sweeps one of the kid into the sea, far from any possible rescue.
The jewish grandmother keeps quite and immediately start praying
"Dear God, I've been a model of devotion. I rose my kids, my sons, my grandsons, my great grandsons. I always believed in you, made donations, shabbat, everything.
Please, make a move: save this kid."
And surely enough, another wave brings the kid back on the beach as if nothing had happened.
The grandmother starts praying again "Thank you, thank you so much. I knew I could trust you !"
She makes a brief pause and then add cautiously
"If I may ask something else... the cap he lost in the sea, it is rather expensive, you know..."
