Furry avatars of doom

Scientific American for April 1. Since typewriters are virtually extinct, I think we need to update the thought experiment - if an infinite number of cats walked over an infinite number of keyboards...

View attachment 696903

They DO realize that CAT translate as "chat" in french, do they ? In fact ChatGPT exactly sounds like "Chat, j'ai pété" which exactly means "Cat - I farted."
 
what the hell is going on here ?
FteiJvyWcAE-L1n
Summoning Bastet.
"what the hell is going on here ?"
A very small moth ??
Took me joining family to solve why FIL's cat-friendly motion detector alarm kept sounding off in their front room during small-hours,
Crack in curtains, beam of street-light across room attracting small moth(s), high-leaping Siamese.
Yes, the 'friendly' sensors reacted to their shy but agile junior Siamese 'Crossing the Beams'.
A 'cabin-hook' to hold door ajar but too narrow for cats, job done...
 
Scientific American for April 1. Since typewriters are virtually extinct, I think we need to update the thought experiment - if an infinite number of cats walked over an infinite number of keyboards...

View attachment 696903

They DO realize that CAT translate as "chat" in french, do they ? In fact ChatGPT exactly sounds like "Chat, j'ai pété" which exactly means "Cat - I farted."
Ah, of course... now I do remember. There's this classic poster.
STEINLEN, THÉOPHILE-ALEXANDRE STEINLEN (1859-1923) BLACK CAT. 1896.jpg
 
ChatGPT4 = chagépétéfor = chat, j'ai pété fort = cat, I farted LOUD.

As a frenchman, I swear this is true.

Just like Audi E-tron = Audi "piece of shit"
 
'Mr Charm', our longest tabby, a splendid 'swirly', took a starling fledgling from head-height. Made it look easy...
Outraged, the rest of their flock descended on him like so many feathered Stukas.
That was a mistake.

To our astonishment, he began swatting them from the air like Chuck Norris so many badminton shuttlewots. The lawn and borders were soon littered with stunned starlings.

The rest of the feline clan did not help themselves to take-aways, but sat around watching. We joked that they were keeping score...
2.7 ? 3.5 ? 2.0 ? Another 3.5 ?? Ooh, a back-somersault with take-down-- 5.0 !!
Eventually, he ran out of airborne starlings.
Feline honour satisfied, he strolled indoors, demanded and ate a late breakfast, found some-where cosy to nap.
One by one, the starlings woke up and fled...
 
'Gingerbits', Mr Charm's big spotted-tabby litter-sib, developed a way to reliably take-down sea-gulls (Lesser Black-Backed).
They're big, bold and mean.
Which made it easy for him...
He'd clamber onto up-wind end of row of garages, sit, wait for several gulls to settle at the other end.
Then, like Clint Eastwood in 'dollars' Western, he'd stroll down-wind, directly towards them.
They'd see him and, perhaps, smell him. But, hey, they were a gaggle of gulls and he was just a house-cat...
He'd get closer, closer, closer...
Then, belatedly, they'd realise that like aircraft, they gotta launch up-wind, towards him.
So, frantic scramble:
Those on flanks could launch sorta-skew, one in middle must launch near enough over him for his leap to take down...

Thankfully, he never found a way to get dead gulls through our kitchen door's 'chip-reading' cat-flap: Leopard-dragged by neck, the beak would get wedged across...
 
'Gingerbits', Mr Charm's big spotted-tabby litter-sib, developed a way to reliably take-down sea-gulls (Lesser Black-Backed).
They're big, bold and mean.
Which made it easy for him...
He'd clamber onto up-wind end of row of garages, sit, wait for several gulls to settle at the other end.
Then, like Clint Eastwood in 'dollars' Western, he'd stroll down-wind, directly towards them.
They'd see him and, perhaps, smell him. But, hey, they were a gaggle of gulls and he was just a house-cat...
He'd get closer, closer, closer...
Then, belatedly, they'd realise that like aircraft, they gotta launch up-wind, towards him.
So, frantic scramble:
Those on flanks could launch sorta-skew, one in middle must launch near enough over him for his leap to take down...

Thankfully, he never found a way to get dead gulls through our kitchen door's 'chip-reading' cat-flap: Leopard-dragged by neck, the beak would get wedged across...

Wait wait... you do realize you witnessed a real-world crossover between

THIS

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4BNbHBcnDI


... and THIS ?

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnuYlFhXWsU


Seagulls versus cats: the ultimate dumbarsery war of stupid animals.

I can only imagine the chaos and mayhem - Mine meow mine meow mine mine meow MINE MINE MEOW MEOW MINE MINE MINE MEOW MEOW MINE!!!!!

My mind is blown.
 
Last edited:

You mean before the Internet, YouTube and Lolcats ? That is, before the year 2000 ?

We got almost a dozen cats in rapid succession in the 1990's, as unfortunately life on the countryside was hard for them and they got killed way too often.

But the short term they were there, I can testify that 30 years ago, cats were as stupid and lazy and insane as they presently are. We got a few remaquarbly dumb ones.

One buried a mole on our house lawn - which ended ravaged.

Another almost suffocated by going head-on into the new roof insulation which stood on the way on its usual path. There was no turning back, and almost no coming back either (my mom saved that cat nonetheless, and it got away with little brain damage despite oxygen deprivation and a bout of epilepsia - then again, that cat was already mentally deranged before the ordeal, and was still deranged thereafter - so maybe it made no discernable difference in the end ?)

Another one fell into our neighbourgh sceptic tank.

We caught one fighting the eggplants in my mother garden.

Another ate the twine of a roast, and had very hard time defecating it (the horror).

As a kitty, one of the cat farted on us, and another deliberately took a dump while in our arms - in both case, to get free from the mischievous brats: my sister and I.

The pills drove three generation of female cats completely crazy if they went cold turkey like drug addicts.

One female cat chased, meowed and viciously attacked my mother, for days and nights of time, until she delivered the drug... the pill.

First time we stopped giving pill to that female cat so that she got kitten, she snapped crazy - cold turkey drug addict. At some point my sister got enough and locked the crazy cat in the attic on the house second floor. Bad, bad mistake: the balcony had bars, so the cat sneaked between the bars and made the big jump. She landed in a single piece, but my sister almost got a heart attack.

When that peculiar female cat got pregnant at least, her old mother already turned pregnant too - and delivered a litter of kittens in the old pram in the attic. Well, the female cat followed her mom and deliver her own litter, same place. We ended with a dozen cats and kittens piled up in the pram: a complete mess.

The same (rather unfortunate) female cat got hit by lightning (like John Travolta, except she didn't turned genius afterwards). We found her in a state of shock trying to sneak below the washing machine in terror. She lived to see many other days: curiously, it was the cat that lived the oldest: 1994-2005, 11 years, a record that was never broken and will never be.
 
Last edited:
Impressive. Couldn't help think - Catrix reloaded. With Meo, and Meowpheus, of course. Also Kitty Ann Moss
 
Last edited:
Has anybody here ever tried to get their feline registered as an honorary member of Audubon? I'm asking because ours is certainly an avid birdwatcher, and I'm sure she's very interested in the continued presence of birds...
 
As we say in french "il ne faut pas jeter le bébé avec l'audubon..." (I'll get my coat)

...and I'm sure she's very interested in the continued presence of birds... in her stomach

Fixed that sentence for you.
 
As we say in french "il ne faut pas jeter le bébé avec l'audubon..." (I'll get my coat)

...and I'm sure she's very interested in the continued presence of birds... in her stomach

Fixed that sentence for you.
I just checked per online translator, and as best as I can tell your sentence above translates into "don't throw the baby out with the audubon", which I very much doubt French people really say a whole lot. Also, I kindly ask you to follow the "English, please" courtesy rule that was discussed on this forum just a few days ago.
 
'Mr Charm', our longest tabby, a splendid 'swirly', took a starling fledgling from head-height. Made it look easy...
Outraged, the rest of their flock descended on him like so many feathered Stukas.
That was a mistake.

To our astonishment, he began swatting them from the air like Chuck Norris so many badminton shuttlewots. The lawn and borders were soon littered with stunned starlings.
That brings to mind my favorite wild cat,

 
Because they weren't aloof enough
https://phys.org/news/2023-05-french-felines-responsive-cat-faster.html

Twelve cats living at two cat cafés in Bordeaux and Toulouse, France, were observed during the study, narrowed down from a group of 18. The six not included in the study were either overly wary of humans or just could not be bothered to interact with them.

Nope---the buffet isn't making money off me
View: https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/13dwjjl/this_is_what_happens_when_a_lion_eats_a_giraffe/
click it anyway--it will play.
 

Similar threads

Please donate to support the forum.

Back
Top Bottom