Military procurement
A morality play in one (interminable) act.
MOD: We want the moon - on a stick.
Treasury: Well, you can't have it.
MOD: Can we have the moon on its own, then?
Treasury: No. We'll let you have the stick, though.
MOD: Can we have a stick with a sort of moon-y bit on one end?
Treasury: Actually, we have just had to cut back. You can have one end of the stick only, for now. We'll fund the other end in five years time.
MoD: Dear Industry, please quote for a one-ended stick.
Industry: That's not possible.
MoD: Then you don't get the order.
Industry: OK, we've had a rethink, If you order a stick and specify one end, we'll deliver what you ask for.
MoD: OK
Industry: Here it is, then.
MoD: This stick has two ends. We only ordered one end.
Industry: We always told you a one-ended stick was impossible.
MoD: But you accepted our order.
Industry: That was on an unspecified basis for the other end, you never said /not/ to include it.
Treasury: This stick fails to meet our strict instruction. The other end will have to come off.
Industry: That will cost, and we give no performance guarantees of the result.
Treasury: How much?
Industry: [Whipser]
Treasury: HOW MUCH??!?
Industry: Take it or leave it.
MoD: We are getting desperate.
Treasury: Well, OK then, but just this once.
Industry: here you are, then.
MoD: It still has another end.
Industry: Yes, but it's not the same other end, we sawed that off.
MoD: And it's still useless, the moon-y bit is hopeless.
Industry: We can fix that - at a price.
Treasury: How much?
Industry: [Whipser]
Treasury: HOW MUCH???!!!?
Industry: Take it or leave it.
MoD: We are getting increasingly desperate.
Treasury: Well, OK then, but just this once.
ad nauseam...