I've joined the Illuminati. Limitless power in the palm of my hand...

"From beyond" sounds like a crypto scheme these days.

I don't know whether the theme of secret societies acquiring members through chance recruitment has ever been properly explored in fiction. Wouldn't be that different from prosperity theology where all one's fortunes are ascribed to direct and personal providence. You know, the same kind of circular logic that underlay basically every absolute (emphasis on "B" and "S" there) monarchy.

Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do, we do
Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do, we do

The Stonecutters' Song
Songwriters: Alf Clausen / John Swartzwelder
The Simpsons, "Homer the Great", S6E12
Jan 8, 1995

Quite catchy, in fact.

Bewarned before taking up on the offer though. On ample evidence "endless riches, fame and power" don't really seem to jibe with freedom or enlightenment. Not in the long term anyway.
 
All I ever get is suggestions for a larger front and a Brazillian rear. My ex gets suggestions of increased male longth/width and more plum-age.

Must not be gender negative though, must we?
 
Secret projects or secret societies, there's some Jan Van Helsing here, I'd rather stick to SPF.
 
Question: if we are already members of the Trilateral Commission, can we still join the Illuminati, or do we have to choose between them? Because tri-lat (as we in the commission call it) meets every third Wednesday of the month, and we only really need to be there for the bi-monthly concurrence meetings, so it’s not actually taking up that much time.

I’d ask the same question for the Bilderberg Group… except nobody wants those dorks harshing the vibe, amirite? Boo-yah!
 
This seems like the perfect time to renew my request for one million dollars. No strings attached. But, you're in luck this year. With tariffs and inflation in view, I'll settle for $750,000 dollars. No Bitcoin. Must be USD.

Send to:

Ed West
Anywhere
USA
 
This seems like the perfect time to renew my request for one million dollars. No strings attached. But, you're in luck this year. With tariffs and inflation in view, I'll settle for $750,000 dollars. No Bitcoin. Must be USD.

Number Two: Don't you think we should ask for *more* than a million dollars? A million dollars isn't exactly a lot of money these days.
EdWest: Really? That's a lot of money.
 
It would pay the energy bill with a little pocket change left over.
 
Nobody invites me to anything
 

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