Nik
ACCESS: Top Secret
- Joined
- 15 July 2009
- Messages
- 1,242
- Reaction score
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A close friend of my wife moved to Oz with her husband. Their kids, born there, take the oft-lethal fauna & flora in their stride, evict the frequent 'home-invasions' without batting an eye-lash...
Even so, they routinely deploy enough 'Due Care' for an ordnance tech faced with a crate of 'sweating' nitro...
from Slim Newton's Greatest Hits...
There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his b***!
I jumped high up into the air,
And when I hit the ground,
That crafty red-back spider
Wasn't nowhere to be found.
I rushed in to the missus,
Told her just where I'd been bit,
She grabbed the cut throat razor blade,
And I nearly took a fit.
I said, "Just forget what's on your mind,
And call a doctor please,
'Cause I've got a feeling that your cure
Is worse than the disease."
There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his b***!
And now I'm here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider
On the toilet seat last night.
I can't lay down, I can't sit up,
And I don't know what to do,
And all the nurses think it's funny,
But that's not my point of view.
I tell you it's embarrassing,
And that's to say the least
That I'm to sick to eat a b***,
While that spider had a feast!
And when I get back home again,
I tell you what I'll do,
I'll make that red-back suffer
For the pain I'm going through.
I've had so many needles
That I'm looking like a sieve,
And I promise you that spider
Hasn't very long to live!
There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his b***!
And now I'm here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider
On the toilet seat last night.
----------------------------------
Nik-note: There are several sequels to this, each wilder...
Even so, they routinely deploy enough 'Due Care' for an ordnance tech faced with a crate of 'sweating' nitro...
from Slim Newton's Greatest Hits...
There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his b***!
I jumped high up into the air,
And when I hit the ground,
That crafty red-back spider
Wasn't nowhere to be found.
I rushed in to the missus,
Told her just where I'd been bit,
She grabbed the cut throat razor blade,
And I nearly took a fit.
I said, "Just forget what's on your mind,
And call a doctor please,
'Cause I've got a feeling that your cure
Is worse than the disease."
There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his b***!
And now I'm here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider
On the toilet seat last night.
I can't lay down, I can't sit up,
And I don't know what to do,
And all the nurses think it's funny,
But that's not my point of view.
I tell you it's embarrassing,
And that's to say the least
That I'm to sick to eat a b***,
While that spider had a feast!
And when I get back home again,
I tell you what I'll do,
I'll make that red-back suffer
For the pain I'm going through.
I've had so many needles
That I'm looking like a sieve,
And I promise you that spider
Hasn't very long to live!
There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night,
I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his b***!
And now I'm here in hospital,
A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider
On the toilet seat last night.
----------------------------------
Nik-note: There are several sequels to this, each wilder...
