Here's TopGear.com's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring
Audi will spend the next decade in Formula One aggressively tailgating the car in front, sources have confirmed.
Following the seismic news that it will join the top tier of global motorsport, company bosses admitted they had little interest in winning, but instead pledged to dedicate its considerable engineering know-how and years of motorsport success to keeping its cars less than 10cm away from the car in front.
“Formula One’s new technical regulations, designed to allow cars to follow more closely, mean our drivers – like all of our customers across the globe – will be able to aggressively tailgate the car in front for an uncomfortable amount of time. Winning doesn’t matter, but infuriating other drivers across an entire season does," an Audi spokesperson said.
